Alicia has been attending big school for two weeks now, albeit on a part time basis. She absolutely loves it and has made friends easily. She was so excited to bring home a book from the school library, which we were to keep and enjoy for the week, ready to return and choose again the next Friday. I was quite excited too as I love books and read to each of the Neilson babies individually every night – they are never too young!!  So… school is great but Alicia’s behaviour at home has gone down hill drastically. The leaflets sent out by the school did warn of this, citing a couple of factors. Firstly that the kids are likely to be exhausted by the new school routine, and secondly that as they have to be on their best behaviour during school hours they may want to let off steam when they are at home. I didn’t believe it at the time… but oh boy I definitely do now!   On Friday morning Alicia screamed from the minute she got up. Let me give you a few examples, please imagine them being screamed in a high-pitched screech so that you can get the full picture!

‘YOU ARE THE WORST MUMMY IN THE WORLD!!!!’
‘I WONT GET DRESSED. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!’ ‘NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!’

I tried talking to her calmly, I tried cuddles, I tried reasoning, then I resorted to bribing with cakes and computer time, then more cuddles, more bribes, a few goes on the naughty step but nothing worked. At 8.10 I had a screaming child still in pyjamas – we have to leave at 8.20 for the school run.

Drastic times call for drastic measures. Super Nanny wouldn’t be proud but I took her to her room and said in my loudest high-pitched screech:

‘IT’S NOT NICE WHEN YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT, I REALLY DONT LIKE IT, AND YOU WONT GET WANT YOU WANT, SO PLEASE DON’T DO IT!!!!!!!’  

I screamed so loud that I thought my eyes were going to pop out. I stopped as soon as I had started and asked her in a very calm voice whether she liked it when I spoke that way. I wanted her to understand how it felt to be spoken too the way she speaks to me. Well, she cried for a few seconds and said quietly ‘no Mummy’. I explained that we don’t behave this way and that the greatest gift in life is to make others smile, not to make them sad and feel angry. I actually think I really scared her. We kissed and hugged then she went to school.

When I picked her up she was fine although very tired. I on the other hand had spent the morning mulling over how I could have handled things differently, thinking of the reasons behind her behaviour, and generally feeling like the worst mother in the world and wondering how I could make things up to her. I also ached all over and had a very sore throat from my efforts at emulating her behaviour!

I think that she is just realising that Gracie and Sonny get to spend their mornings with Mummy doing fun stuff whilst she is at school. With that in mind I am going to make a real fuss of her next week so that she knows she is very special, and of course very loved.

On Monday Alicia started big school. She looked so beautiful in her uniform I couldn’t stop hugging her, which for once she actually loved. We have been talking about what to expect for a while now, focusing on how exciting and fun it will be at school. When we got there she just trotted off and started playing – phew! I was also very brave and felt fine until I was nearly back home when it dawned on me that my first born is now at school, then the tears came! I feel as though I have passed the first big test of parenting by raising and delivering her in one piece ready for her first day at school.

Alicia and her new friends will not be completing a full day at school for another four weeks to ease them into their new life. The first two weeks will be mornings only followed by two weeks of afternoons only. This seems really over the top to me and it is going to be a nightmare to get in to any sort of routine at all. My organised life is now in chaos again as I find my feet getting three children washed, fed and dressed ready for the walk to school. I can’t imagine how the Mums who work are going to cope with the half days and changing times. Never mind, one week down and we weren’t late once, gold stars all round!

On Thursday my handsome fella Sonny, my youngest baby turned one. More tears. Cliché I know but really… where did the year go????? Mark and I knew that having three pre school children would be hard, but that if we could get through the first year we would be fine. We had our closest friends and family round to celebrate, which also gave us an opportunity to say a big thank you to everyone who has helped us. With the new business Mark is rarely home so I have relied on my best friends and brilliant neighbours to keep me sane. I often say that the biggest difference between having two and three children is that when you have three you accept more of the help that is offered rather than being proud and trying to cope by yourself!

Sonny has been an angel baby and I have honestly enjoyed every minute of this first year with him. Maybe third time round I have finally cracked this mothering malarkey!

Proud Mum and Alicia

Alicia outside the school gates

My big boy

 

Sonny with his new toys