Before I was a mum I was a woman and a wife – I’d like to think I was a fairly intelligent, independent, stylish, spontaneous, fun-loving kind of a girl with a healthy career and a fantastic relationship with my husband. I find that it’s quite hard to maintain that persona when my main focus is to be a Mum – sensible, caring, not so stylish, organised, no career and a different relationship with my husband! Whilst I wouldn’t change being a Mum for the world I do still want to have it all!

With three kids it’s near on impossible to return to my job, even if the childcare costs of three children weren’t an issue, the pressure of my old job and raising the babies certainly would be too much. I don’t think that I’d be able to give anything my full attention and I never do anything unless I know I can commit to do it well. However after giving up a job I worked so hard to get, I found it really difficult to accept that I was now a ‘housewife’ or a ‘homemaker’ – what do you say at dinner parties?! For a while I said, “I used to work in Compliance for a major financial institution but now I am taking a break to raise the kids”, but after three years of not working you can’t really say that anymore. Up until recently I’d been a little embarrassed to say; “actually I stay at home raising my three children and looking after the house”. It’s taken a while but I am now proud to make that statement, indeed privileged to be able to do so (especially as I know that I work a whole lot harder each day than I ever did in the office!).

That said I’d begun to feel that I needed more of a challenge – something to stimulate my brain and keep me in the game. I started to look for voluntary positions that would use my existing skills and also give me the opportunity to expand my repertoire. My local hospital has just applied for NHS Foundation Trust status and was looking for Governors to serve on their Board – aha I thought, I could be good at this! I attended the information awareness meetings and decided that I’d go for it. I applied for the post and had to go through a very formal election process, submitting an election statement and putting myself up for the vote. Last week I received a phone call for the Trust saying I had been elected for one year! I am very excited to get my teeth stuck into something again and am looking forward to starting my training. The post is unpaid but it is something that can fit around the children. I have to attend 3 meetings a year and do some work at home but it will not encroach into my day with the kids. It will also look good on my CV if I decide to return to employment when the kids reach school age.

As a wife I have to find the time to be there for my husband. We obviously can’t go out every weekend for a meal or do anything spontaneous, but we do make the most of the time we have. I hardly see Mark in the week so our weekends are precious. I always make sure that I put my make up on and wear something nice, and I try to stock the fridge up so that we have tasty lunches etc. Instead of going out we try to do different things at home rather than getting stuck doing jobs and going to bed. Last weekend we had a film night – it was Mark’s turn to choose so we bought some crisps, chocolates and popcorn, carried the duvet downstairs, pulled the sofa in front of the telly, shut the curtains, turned off the lights and watched Rambo! It wasn’t the best film I’d ever seen but we made it special by making an effort. This weekend we had a Martini evening – we bought ingredients to make Cranberry Vodka Martinis, cooked tapas and watched Casino. It just goes to show that staying in can be fun and special if you make the effort!