Within two weeks of being referred by our GP Gracie was seen by the consultant at our local hospital. We explained that when Gracie was hurt or upset she couldn’t catch her breath, stopped breathing and fainted. We were sent for an ECG just to check that her heart wasn’t doing anything to cause this. Everyone at the hospital was so brilliant with Gracie, when the nurse attached the wires to Gracie’s chest she pretended that they were octopus legs, which really put Gracie at ease. We hardly had to wait around at all. The doctor said that she was sure this was a classic case of breath holding, a fairly common condition which most children grow out of by the time they start school. Usually when I see that Gracie isn’t breathing, I cuddle her to comfort her, the doctor explained that this is the wrong thing to do – I need to lay her flat on the floor until she comes around so that the blood can get to her brain more quickly. In the event that she doesn’t start breathing within a minute I need to call an ambulance but this is very unlikely.

Gracie was relaxed and happy at the hospital. We have a doctors and nurses play kit at home, which we quite often play with. I think that this definitely helped and we talked to Gracie about this at the hospital. Mark and I feel much happier now. Gracie has held her breath once since our hospital visit, but I was able to handle it calmly and she recovered quickly. I am so grateful that there is nothing seriously wrong even if the turns are scary!

In more cheerful news we are starting to prepare for Christmas. Gracie doesn’t understand why she can only have one chocolate out of her advent calendar each day but we are getting there. I only allow the girls to open their calendars when they are dressed and ready to leave for school – it’s amazing how much quicker they go when there is chocolate on offer! This week we made our Christmas cake. The girls loved being involved, and we each took a turn to stir in a Christmas wish. Take a look at the pictures of the girls baking.   

 

My little chefs helping out with the Christmas cake :

 

Last week my husband hit the big 40 so I’d been secretly planning a special birthday present – a four day trip to New York! When I told Mark about his surprise he very nervously asked whether the kids were coming… NO! My Mum and Dad had agreed to have the three children for us. Mark was over the moon and whispered in my ear that I could have taken him to Bournemouth if it meant we could spend some time alone together!

Mum and Dad decided to move into our house for the duration. It made sense as everything would be to hand, Alicia’s school is close by, the house is very child-friendly and the kids wouldn’t be unduly unsettled. Mum and Dad were very nervous – make that terrified – about the prospect of looking after three small children for such a long period. Their main concern was that they would find it too tiring, but I knew they would cope perfectly, and there’s nobody I’d rather leave my babies with. And the kids love Nana and Granddad so I hoped they would enjoy their time together. Of course I couldn’t leave without writing comprehensive notes, including a complete itinerary for the four days.

I’ve been excited about this trip all year, and couldn’t wait to be a wife for the weekend. So that they’d know what was going on, we started mentioning the trip to the girls a few weeks before, and they seemed fine with it. I was more concerned about Sonny who I thought, at only 14 months, wouldn’t understand why his Mummy was suddenly not there. We decided to leave after the kids were in bed so as not to upset them, as I was starting to get a little nervous just before we left this worked well for all of us.

On the plane I got a little tearful. What had I done? How could I possibly leave them and be so far away? What if something happened and it took ages to get to them? What if they were all very upset and missed us? I also felt guilty for wanting to spend time away from them. I phoned as soon as we landed to say goodnight to them and of course they were fine – in fact having fun and not missing us at all! After that I was able to relax. Mark and I had the best weekend with our itinerary led by what we wanted to do rather than revolving around the kids. We ate in lovely restaurants, walked for miles and woke up naturally without our kid alarm clocks! We phoned home once a day just before their bedtime to wish them goodnight. On the Sunday night Alicia said she had been upset because she missed us so much and wanted us to come home. I felt very guilty for leaving her and phoned Mum and Dad back after she had gone to bed, only to learn that she had been absolutely fine.

Being with the children all day, every day I rarely get a break, so although I felt a bit guilty, I really relished the time away. I felt like Emma rather than Mum, and had a spring in my step for the whole weekend. We brought back some fabulous presents including a children’s A-Z of New York so that we could explain what we had seen. I now feel fully recharged and much calmer. And after having a bit of time away I’m being much more patient with the kids, I feel like the break has made me a better Mum – at least for now! The best news is that Nana and Granddad enjoyed themselves so much that they have offered to do it once a year!!!     

 

Mark and I enjoying some time away from the kids:

 

Gracie is sweet, quiet, loves her food, dollies and her Nana. She is my delicate flower. A year ago, soon after Sonny was born she had her first ‘funny turn’. Nana was leaving to go home and Gracie got so upset that she just couldn’t get her breath and fell to the floor as white as a ghost. She came round very quickly but was dazed, didn’t really focus and was very pale. We called an ambulance, which arrived within a minute. The paramedic said that although she didn’t seem in any immediate danger we should take her straight to A&E (it was an ambulance first response car, which don’t have child seats so it was safer for us to take her). The hospital was fantastic, we were seen immediately and Gracie was checked over. She was given the all-clear but no real diagnosis – it may have been breath holding or a fit but we would know if it happened again.

A couple of months later Gracie fell over and hurt herself. She ran towards me but as she was running I could see that she wasn’t taking a breath. By the time I got to her she had stopped breathing, rolled her eyes and was limp. I ran with her to the front door to get cold air on her and she came round. It is the scariest thing to hold your limp child in your arms not knowing if she is going to come round. It takes me a long time after to get the image of her pale face and the feeling of her limp body from my head. It did seem as though she was holding her breath. I phoned my husband and explained. He hadn’t seen the first incident either so he calmed me down but brushed it off.

The third time was when Mark was cleaning Gracie’s teeth. Again she was very upset and the same thing happened. Mark freaked. He hadn’t understood how scary it was.

We thought she would grow out of breath holding and had been through a period where it hadn’t occurred – we thought it was over. This month, however, she has passed out twice, enough is enough we thought so took her straight to the GP. He thinks she may have a form of epilepsy but we have been referred to the hospital for tests. I haven’t written about this before because it is always such an awful experience. I really didn’t want to write it down or even acknowledge that something may be wrong with my beautiful, perfect girl. I am so relieved that she is going to be checked out – her appointment is in a couple of weeks.

We have had so much fun this week with Halloween activities – here is a photo of Gracie and Alicia in their outfits!

Gracie in Alicia in their Halloween outfits:

Having had three babies in a relatively short space of time it was really important for me to get back into shape. I thought this was going to be a hard task so back in March I decided to set myself a fitness goal… I entered the Swindon Half Marathon.

Having not run for some time I was a bit daunted by the thought of training for the 13.1 miles of the half marathon, so I decided that it would be best to join the running club at my gym. The coaches showed me how to improve my technique, which involved completely changing my running style. Week-on-week my fitness improved and the baby weight started to come off. I found that I could fit my training in around the kids, usually running after they had gone to bed when Mark was home from work.

The day of the half marathon came and we set off for the starting point. I was really nervous as I had never run the whole distance and I knew the course was very hilly. Mark and the kids waved as I set off with 1500 other runners. It was really tough and I had to push myself to keep going, but the thought of my family cheering me at the end kept me going. As I turned the corner and got my first glimpse of the finish line I put on a final sprint so that the kids could see me finish in style, but as I crossed the line they were nowhere to be seen! I couldn’t believe they had missed it. I eventually found them nearby oblivious to the fact that they’d missed me – Mark thinks this was because Gracie fell over and he was giving her some tlc. I was really pleased to discover that I’d completed the course in a time of 1 hour and 52 minutes, but Alicia asked if I was a rubbish runner because lots of people had beaten me… it did make me laugh!

After three babies I’m not sure that my tummy muscles will ever fully recover, but one thing I know for sure is that running has made me fitter than I have ever been – and I enjoy spending time by myself pounding the streets!

On Saturday we attended the wedding of my second cousin Janette Whiteway. Once Alicia had recovered from the disappointment of being told that she wouldn’t be the bride she and Gracie were excited all week, and couldn’t wait to see the pretty dress and join in the celebrations. I love a good wedding and was looking forward to seeing my relations, but I was also in a slight panic about how to keep three small children quiet and well behaved through the church service and wedding breakfast!

On the morning of the wedding I decided to leave the children in their pyjamas until the very last minute to keep them clean and tidy. This was fine but meant that the half hour before we left for the church was hectic. We only just made it on time and must have looked such a sight running to the church just as the bride was arriving – it’s not easy to run in high heels whilst pushing a buggy and trying to keep dry from the rain!

The girls were brilliant during the service and were mesmerised by the proceedings. Sonny was fine for the first half of the service and thankfully kept quiet during the important parts. Unfortunately he soon realised that the church had an amazing echo and decided to screech very loudly, which he found hilarious. My supply of chocolate buttons (white chocolate so as not to stain their posh clothes) kept everyone happy and quiet for a short while but the screeching soon started up again. I decide to take Sonny outside the church so as not to spoil the ceremony for everyone else, I was relieved to find I wasn’t the only Mum waiting outside with a baby!

As we took our places for the wedding breakfast we found three boxes on the table decorated beautifully with the children’s names. They were jam packed with toys, games, colouring activities, play jewellery and other thoughtful trinkets. There was also a box for my sister’s four-month-old baby Jake. Each box had been individually packed with age appropriate toys. Alicia and Gracie were thrilled and the contents kept them entertained during the meal and speeches, which meant that we could enjoy ourselves!

The girls thought that the wedding was magical and have spent today parading around taking it in turns to hold each other’s dress as they walk down the aisle!

Alicia showing off her goodie bag at the wedding breakfast and Gracie happily eating ice cream: