There are four years between Benjamin and Molly. Part planned on our part and part nature with its own ideas!

Although four years is not a big age gap in some peoples’ eyes, it is often a conversation I find myself part of, with opinions both for and against.
I had a chance to reflect on this over a very quiet family weekend when I had the luxury of giving both children a lot of time. (Often weekends can be spent entertaining, cleaning, ironing etc and can go past in a blur!)

Watching my 15 month old toddle around the house like a wobbly Bambi seems even more endearing when compared to my confident, athletic five year old. His toys are her toys and both can play in the same space as if the other is not there! On occasion Molly will ‘spoil’ Ben’s activity or Ben will suddenly decide that only what she has to play with will do and more often than not tears follow.

Molly is fiercely independent and very vocal. I often wonder if this is due to the gender difference, but for the last 15 months she has had the added benefit of watching her older brother. Suffering from ‘second child syndrome’, Molly has not been to the run of baby swim, gym or yoga classes that Benjamin had but instead she experiences time with her sibling and all that comes with it –something that Ben didn’t have.

The age gap can make certain activities as a family totally impossible. On Saturday we had to split up as Ben wanted to see the latest movie release which of course Molly would not sit through! But she got time with Dad at a ball park while I enjoyed the delights of High School Musical 3. It is great going out with Benjamin without the constraints of a pushchair, nappy bag and change of clothes! Instead I get constant conversation, pester power at its best and always a fun memory!

For me, the age gap has meant that I have been able to return to work between having the two of them, without having the added expense of both of them at nursery at the same time. Plus I have never had the wish to be free of nappies –as four years on, it’s all become a novelty again!

A ball rolls past me and I want to chase it
As I try and reach it from where I sit
I end up in a pile on the floor

 

I want to move and it’s making me cross
I try to crawl but for now I am at a loss
I end up in a pile on the floor

 

My right leg, you see, keeps getting stuck
And then, as is normally my luck
I end up in a pile on the floor

 

I can stand alone if I have something to hold
This makes me feel quite big and bold
I don’t want to end up on the floor!

 

I can walk a few yards if someone holds my hands
With rapturous applause from all of my fans
I don’t want to end up on the floor!

 

My Gran told me “at 10 months your Dad was walking”
Why the big rush and all of the talking?
Do they want me to end up on the floor?

 

It won’t be long and soon I will be on my feet
Watch out all, the house may not stay neat!
Pick everything up off the floor!

Molly walking with her pushchair

 

It started last week with nappy rash
And refusing to eat her favourite mash

Whatever the object it went into her mouth
Chewing and dribbling all over the house

Red-cheeked and grumpy became order of the day
I guess you know what I am going to say

This morning, as if it happened over night,
Two bottom front teeth were just coming into sight

With teething gel and ice cold soothers
We can help ease the pain of these little movers

A toothbrush for Molly is now on my list
As recommended by any dentist

I have used this little ditty to record this milestone
Others I will follow in a similar tone.

…as a return to work looms for me!

Finally all decisions have been made to enable me to return to work in February; the main one was of course the juggling of childcare for Benjamin and Molly. We made a happy decision that Molly would go to the same nursery that Benjamin went to. It is a small, home-from-home type place. We know the staff and the set up and Benjamin was very happy there.

The nursery has a settling in process which for us lasted a week. The advantage to being a sibling is, I guess, that Molly is used to a fair amount of noise and being around other children. She did not seem phased in the slightest by the whole thing.

For me, leaving her for this settling period was not too bad. I had a long list of things I needed to achieve in the time I had, and needless to say the days rushed by. However it was very odd, and very quiet, without her. I find walking out of the nursery door is the hardest bit, but it’s great when you go back to collect at the end of the session!

My tips for choosing a nursery are:

1. Go with your gut instinct!
2. Think about whether the children look happy and content
3. Is the nursery clean, bright, with outdoor space?
4. Is there a high turnover of staff – do they seem happy?
5. Is it near to home/work, and easy to get to if your child is sick?
6. Remember to think about your child’s needs as they get older – don’t just look at the baby room.

There are many questions to ask and reports to look at. A recommendation from someone is a good start. Visit as many times as you need to and go at different times of the day.

Fingers crossed all will go OK when work starts next week!

 

 

We have just had ‘one of those days’ with our four-year-old. A day when you start to question your parenting style and ask where you went wrong? Probably a slight over reaction on our part, but as we are still experiencing broken sleep with Molly, our tolerance threshold seems lower!

 A meal out to a family-friendly restaurant left us wishing we had stayed in and cooked! We ended up cutting the meal short and scuttled away trying to leave some of the other dinners with some peace in which to enjoy their meal. Benjamin was not alone in thinking the restaurant was a play zone, but no amount of talking to him would get him to calm down and listen. We had been to the same restaurant a few weeks earlier and he was a ‘model child’!

The bad behaviour continued all day, despite spending most of the afternoon in the park. It had rained virtually all week making any chance to run round madly short-lived, so he was a little stir crazy by this point!

I think that Benjamin believes that after five months at school he is now a ‘big boy’. He is absorbing new words, sayings and behaviour styles like a sponge: testing the water and wondering how far he can push us. He found out today and is now minus a few of his favourite Power Rangers toys and DVDs.

I wonder how long it will be before I buckle under the pressure of a request for a DVD to go on – this normally gives me an hour or so of peace to do some chores. However I’ve now decided: less TV, more games, puzzles and reading! I wonder how we will get on?